'Don't you have to dodge tiny stars on your way to the moon?': 30+ Smarty-pants people who thought they knew everything, but were actually comically misinformed

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 11, 2023 3:00 PM EST

Lots of people are utterly convinced they're geniuses, but when you talk to them for more than a few minutes, you can tell the real truth about them. 

Most people you talk to are just normal, average people, and they usually have interesting lives. However, it seems like every party or social event has at least one person that is the know-it-all. They think they're smarter than everyone else in the room, and they can't help but brag about it. 

At a recent party, a stranger walked into the event and immediately just started telling us who they were and where they worked. No "hello," just a full, pre-rehearsed monologue about themselves. Instead of greeting the other people at the event, this person acted like they thought they were auditioning for a part in a play or something. They couldn't resist name-dropping celebs and TV shows they'd worked on, and as the rest of us stared in silence, we could all see how hard this person was trying to flex. No one had asked that information yet! We literally didn't even know them! It was pretty hilarious to witness as the rest of the people in the room tried to figure out what to say after this person's unexpected monologue. With some people, it's all about them 100% of the time. 

These people thought they knew all, and fully believed that their opinions were correct, even when literal facts and logic didn't back up their assumptions. Check out all these interesting anecdotes below. Then, the manager at this restaurant wanted to cut costs, but his cheapness backfired on him at the worst possible time. 

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  • 01
    What is the dumbest question someone has asked you in the smug assumption that it can't be answered? I guess a lot of people who think they are geniuses and like to rub it in try this. It has not happened to me much personally, but I was wondering what sort of people do it and how to deal with it. Like "Where do all the flies go in winter?"
    via u/ChemoProphet
  • 02
    TehAlphaMale I work in a call center. I once had a person not believe I was actually with the company she called, so she gets her cell phone and dials again while I'm on the line and says, "if you're with X company, how am I talking to them over here?!?" There's more than one person. In a call center.
    via u/TehAlphaMale
  • 03
    clarko315 Don't you have to dodge tiny stars on your way to the moon?
    via u/clarko315
  • 04
    BadHeartburn In a tech support call center: Cust: How come every time I call back for this issue, they have me do something different? Me: Would it make any sense if they kept having you do the same thing? Cust (angry): You have an answer for everything, don't you?! Me: Yes. That's my job.
    via u/BadHeartburn
  • 05
    Runnat I work in a kitchen, and one of the other cooks asked how you would prepare a rabbit egg, straight faced.
    via u/Runnat
  • 06
    DubiousCosmos "Can your science explain why it rains?" "Yes! Yes it can!"
    via u/DubiousCosmos
  • 07
    you-on-point-tip I was a huge loser who always wore goggles and nose plugs when I went swimming. One kid at swimming lessons was asking me about them, and asked, incredulously, "So, how do you breathe???" "I . Through my mouth..."
    via u/you-on-point-tip
  • 08
    swollennode "What are you? The manager?" I smiled as I kicked the ba out of my store.
    via u/swollennode
  • 09
    emilyamanda88 When my sister and I were little we would fight. One of those fights was about who was smarter, we were probably 4 and 7 respectively. She says to me, "If you are so smart, what is 5 times?" I waited for her to finish. She was done with the question. And she thought she won the argument because didn't know the answer.
    via u/emilyamanda88
  • 10
    Keifru "You think you can fix this? I've tried everything. This computer is broken. Get me a new one." I then silently plug in their ethernet cable and walk away.
    via u/Keifru
  • 11
    Snowbaby172 When's my birthday? In elementary school kids would always ask each other this to make them feel bad for not knowing their birthday.
    via u/Snowbaby172
  • 12
    Celtic Lore What is one of the only questions in world that can't be truthfully answered yes by someone? Are you asleep? A teacher ask this as a brain teaser so she could get a few mins of peace, the whole class got it in 2 mins and she went nuts
    via u/Celtic Lore
  • 13
    Zenyatoo Cop asked me what my reaction time was in an effort to prove I could never brake in time. I suppose he was not expecting me to say "about a quarter of a second." His response was to tell me that "no, you're wrong, it's 0 seconds." Which is of course, even dumber, as a 0 second reaction time would be faster than 1/4th of a second.
    via u/Zenyatoo
  • 14
    LibbyLibbyLibby "What is the opposite of opposite?" I think he thought it was some kind of profound philosophical conundrum, but I was able to tell him the word was 'apposite'.
    via u/LibbyLibbyLibby
  • 15
    Joliet Jake Blues This girl I knew when I was about 15-16 talked about how smart she and her friends were because they talked about "quantum physics" and pondered "unanswerable questions". I asked for an example and she asked me, "what does nothing look like?" I thought for a second and responded, "whatever is behind it". She got a sad look and changed the subject. We didn't hang out much after that.
    via u/Joliet Jake Blues
  • 16
    Narwalrusaurus Have you ever tried to staple water to a tree?
    via u/Narwalrusaurus
  • 17
    Altimus I currently work in a garage. Before I got into the trade I tried replacing my own radiator and ended up breaking the a.c. hardlines so I had no a.c. This meant in winter the inside of my window would frost over because the a.c. system in cars act as dehumidifiers as well as creating cold air. Customer decided to argue with me that its a flaw in new cars that his a.c. system should never be on in the winter because it doesn't do anything. TLDR: Air conditioning in cars means less humidit
    via u/Altimus
  • 18
    FluffySharkBird "If your right ear is deaf, how could you hear me?" Motherf feet away in a quiet room. That's not how hearing works. Of course I heard you. You know better than that. you're two
    via u/FluffySharkBird
  • 19
    [deleted] My brother does this all the time. The most recent one was, name a better sword than the Japanese katana. The correct answer is of course most contemporary European broadswords. He thought he knew s about swords, fun fact little brother, katanas are made out of pig iron, not the best metal ever.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 20
    milesgirth One time my step-dad and I were out driving and after we parked he threw the keys into the moon roof or whatever. The doors were locked. So after we crawled into the roof to get the keys and started the car, he looks at me and says, "Imagine if the roof was closed!"
    via u/milesgirth
  • 21
    Bilj I worked in a bar for a little while. The guy said "do you have a calculator I can borrow?" Quickly followed by "unless you think you can divide this bill by three?" With a smirk on his face. I don't like when people assume you are stupid because you work behind a bar. The cocky S wasn't to know I was about to graduate with a degree in economics. I had the answer before he had finished his sentence. He tipped £20.
    via u/Bilj
  • 22
    theyoussef123 "when was the last time you washed your teeth? HMM?" I stare at person with mouth still full with tooth paste "mmmph mmph."
    via u/theyoussef123
  • 23
    DarthRemus "What do you mean we have to pay for cable every month?" - my room mate upon moving into his first house on his own.
    via u/DarthRemus
  • 24
    Shadow DragonCHW. I can't even give an example. All I know is that one of my teachers once taught us that paradoxes and oxymorons are the same thing. I will never forgive her for that lie. Even tried to explain it to her. She didn't even ask a dumb question. She just said I was wrong and she was right because she was the teacher. That was when I gave up on saving her from her own stupidity.
    via u/Shadow DragonCHW
  • 25
    [deleted] I was actually in a group of people once who were discussing the move from the 13 month to 12 month calendar. This one imbecile kept going on about how "there are actually 13 months in a year" and citing all this nonsense about agriculture and day lengths. Eventually, she got fed up and said "If you know an astrophysicists, have them respond to my claims!" At this point, I added my first comment to the conversation: "Actually, there is an astrophysicist here. You are so far off, you're
    via u/[deleted]
  • 26
    IamSpot89 Work in a grocery store, boss told me in a job evaluation that I needed to work on product knowledge. As an example he asked if I knew what grassfed beef meant. He was actually surprised when I knew the answer.
    via u/IamSpot89
  • 27
    [deleted] "How can we be made of DNA? DNA is acid, so if we're made of acid, we'd dissolve, right?"
    via u/[deleted]
  • 28
    Josh7133 What would happen if a mosquito bit a vampire.
    via u/Josh7133
  • 29
    Cody_X i have a friend who (used to) ask "what if the floor disappeared right now?" The general consensus is that we would all fall down a story and break our legs.
    via u/Cody_X
  • 30
    autoposting_system "Who are you to judge?" I am a sane adult, thank you very much
    via u/autoposting_system
  • 31
    [deleted] A guy locked my friend's phone but gave her the four digits that made up the code. He smugly told her she'd never get it, and that there were "hundreds" of different combinations. I told him no, there are only 24. This made him more smug, and he also called me stupid. As
    via u/[deleted]
  • 32
    joeydball. If you can get tan while you're moving, why do they make you lie still in a tanning bed? She was trying to convince us you couldn't get a tan in a convertible.
    via u/joeydball
  • 33
    rtnal90 How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
    via u/rtnal90
  • 34
    mattrixed. Where are all the baby pigeons?
    via u/mattrixed
  • 35
    MalumNexVir "I bet you can't say the name of a movie that doesn't have the letter S in it in 5 seconds." The Dark Knight, Pulp Fiction, Inception, The Matrix, Terminator, Alien, Predator, The Lion King. All in less than 5 seconds. I can't tell if I should be proud that I'm so knowledgeable about movies or if I should feel bad for being so knowledgeable about movies.
    via u/MalumNexVir
  • 36
    ▸ [deleted] My friend said "Say the word "what" without it being a question." All I said was "You just did." He thought about it for a second and said walked away.
    via u/ [deleted]
  • 37
    ✪ [deleted] "If you're in a car going at the speed of light and you turn the headlights on can you see them?" No, you can't.
    via u/ [deleted]
  • 38
    getherdoneforreal At a deli... Whats the difference from the Garlic Turkey and the regular Turkey..... ??? Well kind sir.. it has garlic...
    via u/getherdoneforreal
  • 39
    Xander_The_Great I was in a high school physics class and using grams as our unit of mass. A girl asked me and my friend: Girl: "what is this in people weight?" Me: "You mean kilograms, its the same thing just a larger unit" Girl: "No, what you weigh people in, on a scale duh. How do you guys not know?" She then stormed off thinking she was smarter than us. I wish the metric system was understood in the U.S.
    via u/Xander_The_Great

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